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Monday, May 19, 2014

A to Z...an excerpt


                                                           I noticed an ass monkey moved into the apt across the street from me. I knew he was an ass monkey because of the couch stuck in his door. Well that’s what sealed it for me. What put the thought in my head happened much earlier. I watched him run himself over   with a u-haul truck.  Say it out loud. I’ll wait. Yes, this pride of the species ran himself over with a truck that he was driving. His entire leg and a tree, a large oak. Then he blamed it on his wife, who was in the house at the time.  She was not moved by this and turned and went back in the house.  A.M.  then tried to blame the 3 injured guys in the back of the truck. I don’t know who’s idea it was for them to be riding in the back of the closed truck, but I have my suspicions. Must have pissed them off, cause they left soon as they gained their bearings.
  After the paramedics left his three pit-bulls got loose. Make a note, don’t chase dogs while you (or them) are on crutches. You’ll look like an Ass-Monkey.  Also if your wife is the only person left to help you unload the U-Haul, don’t drive her to to drink. She may get all stabby and chase you with a knife. His did and she didn’t seem to be playin. If he had handled the truck a little better, earlier, he may have got away. His limp made shanking him way to easy. The police carted her off for Domestic Abuse so she was no help at all moving the couch into the house. Neither was I, I ducked back into my home soon as I noticed this fool trying to move it by himself. Next time I saw him he was trying to get me to keep an eye on his house for a “little while” so he could hit the club.  See he couldn’t close his door. Ass-Monkey.

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